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Learn DBT Skills In A Group
Weekly sessions are available. Grouport offers therapist-led dialectical behavior therapy skills groups online. The first 12 weeks covers fundamental DBT skills.
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Intimacy is a crucial part of any romantic relationship, yet many couples experience challenges in this area. If you're feeling frustrated or confused because your wife has lost interest in sex, you're not alone. Many men face similar concerns, and it's important to approach this sensitive issue with care, understanding, and patience.
Here, we’ll explore why low sexual desire can occur and provide thoughtful advice on how to improve intimacy and reconnect with your partner.
It's essential to remember that sexual desire in women is often more complex than in men. Various factors, both physical and emotional, can affect her libido. Stress, hormonal fluctuations, body image issues, past trauma, or even dissatisfaction with the relationship can all play a role. Simply assuming that your wife has lost interest in you personally may cause unnecessary strain and hurt feelings.
Before jumping to solutions, try to have an open and non-judgmental conversation with your wife about how she’s feeling. Avoid making her feel guilty or pressured, as this will only make the situation worse. Instead, create a safe space where she can express any underlying reasons for her lack of desire. This may include physical concerns (e.g., pain during sex, medical conditions) or emotional ones (e.g., feeling disconnected or stressed).
Approach the conversation with empathy and a desire to understand her perspective. You might say something like, “I’ve noticed that things feel different between us lately, and I’m wondering if there’s something I can do to make you feel more comfortable and connected.”
Sex is not just a physical act; it's deeply tied to emotional closeness. If there’s emotional distance between you and your wife, it’s likely to affect her desire for sex. Make an effort to connect emotionally through quality time, affection, and thoughtful gestures. Ask her about her day, listen attentively, and show appreciation for the things she does. Little acts of kindness and attention can go a long way in rebuilding intimacy.
Physical touch—without the expectation of sex—can also help rebuild closeness. Hold hands, cuddle, or offer gentle touches throughout the day. This can reignite feelings of affection and intimacy that go beyond the bedroom.
Sometimes low desire can be linked to physical factors like hormonal changes (e.g., postpartum or menopause), health issues (e.g., fatigue, depression, medications), or pain during intercourse. If this might be the case, encourage your wife to seek medical advice. A healthcare provider can offer insight into hormonal imbalances, physical conditions, or other health-related concerns that might be affecting her libido.
Remember that when a woman feels pain or discomfort during sex, it can create a negative association with the experience. Approach this issue with care, and avoid pressuring her into sexual activity before she’s ready.
It’s easy to focus on the goal of sex, but intimacy should never feel like a performance or a checklist. Instead of focusing on the end result, try to cultivate a nurturing and affectionate atmosphere. Praise her for who she is—not just how she looks—and make her feel cherished outside of the bedroom.
Focus on things that can strengthen the emotional connection between you two. Spend time on shared hobbies, engage in deep conversations, and show appreciation for her as a person, not just as a partner. When emotional closeness is strong, the desire for sex may naturally follow.
Intimacy is not limited to sexual intercourse. There are many ways to be close and share a bond that doesn’t necessarily involve sex. Experiment with other forms of intimacy, such as sensual massage, showering together, or simply lying in bed together and talking. By exploring alternative ways to connect physically and emotionally, you can help take the pressure off the idea of “sex” and allow for a deeper, more meaningful connection.
If the lack of desire continues despite your efforts, consider seeking the help of a therapist. A sex therapist or marriage counselor can help you both explore underlying emotional or psychological issues, address any relationship dynamics, and develop healthier ways to approach intimacy. Therapy can be particularly helpful if either partner feels disconnected, anxious, or frustrated about the issue.
It’s important to recognize that sexual desire fluctuates over time. Life circumstances, stress, parenting, aging, or even temporary shifts in emotional well-being can impact libido. Rather than viewing your wife’s low desire as a permanent problem, try to approach it with the understanding that it may be a phase—something that can change as you both work on your relationship.
Finally, while it’s essential to focus on your wife’s needs, don’t forget to take care of yourself. Emotional and physical self-care will put you in a better place to be supportive and patient with your partner. Exercise, relax, pursue hobbies, and find ways to reduce your stress. The healthier and more balanced you are, the more you can contribute positively to your marriage.
If your wife has lost interest in sex, it’s important to approach the situation with love, understanding, and patience. There are many reasons why sexual desire may ebb and flow, and it’s crucial to focus on emotional connection, open communication, and shared intimacy. By creating a nurturing, supportive environment, you can rebuild the closeness that fosters a healthy and fulfilling sexual relationship.
Remember that every relationship has its challenges, and with effort and empathy, most couples can find a path back to mutual fulfillment.
Grouport Therapy provides online group therapy, individual therapy, couples therapy, family therapy, intensive outpatient program, teen therapy, and a DBT-Self Guided Program. All our sessions are therapist-led, held virtually, and meet over video chat at the same time each week. All our sessions are therapist-led and are held virtually and meet over video chat at the same time each week. For group therapy, we have groups on many topics including Dialectical Behavior Therapy "DBT", Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Anxiety & Depression, Trauma & PTSD, Anger Management, OCD, Borderline Personality Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, Relationship Issues, Divorce, Narcissistic Abuse, Self-Compassion, Grief & Loss, Parenting, Substance Abuse, Supporting A Loved one with BPD, among others. Each group is led by a licensed therapist that typically has over a decade of experience treating a wide range of specialties, and the group meets at the same time each week for an hour with the same members and therapist.
As reported by our members, 70% experienced significant progress within 8 weeks, including reduced anxiety & depression symptoms.
Our care coordinators can help assist you to craft the perfect treatment plan for you that's tailored to your needs. We provide speedy matches to quality care, and also provide the flexibility to switch your therapist or group at anytime ensuring that you're always meeting with the right therapist fit at a time that's convenient for your schedule. Whatever type of therapy you’re seeking, Grouport offers a range of options to suit your schedule and preferences. Explore our programs to find the support you need. If you need help finding the right type of therapy, schedule a free call with a care coordinator here.
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