How Long Does It Take to Get Over a Breakup?

Breakups can be incredibly painful, leaving us questioning how long it will take to feel "normal" again. While there’s no magic timeline for healing, understanding the stages of heartbreak and what to expect can provide comfort during the recovery process. The truth is, the length of time it takes to get over a breakup varies from person to person, and there are numerous factors that contribute to how quickly one can heal.

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The 5 Stages of Grief: A Framework for Healing

It’s common for people to move through the stages of grief after a breakup, much like they would after a death. These stages were originally identified by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and include:

Denial – “This isn’t happening.” In this stage, you may feel numb or in shock. You might refuse to believe the relationship is over, telling yourself things will get better.
Anger – “Why did this happen?” Feelings of anger and frustration can arise, especially if the breakup feels unfair or if there is unresolved conflict. Blame may be directed at your ex or even yourself.
Bargaining – “Maybe we can fix this.” Some people try to negotiate with themselves or their ex in hopes of saving the relationship, often thinking of what could have been done differently.
Depression – “I feel so lost.” This is often the most intense phase, where sadness, loneliness, and hopelessness take over. Grieving the loss of a relationship is a natural part of the healing process.
Acceptance – “It’s time to move on.” Eventually, there comes a point when you accept the breakup and start to look forward to new possibilities. You can think about the relationship with perspective, and you may even find peace with the end.

While these stages don’t always occur in a linear fashion, they provide a framework to understand the emotional rollercoaster of a breakup. It’s important to remember that healing is not rushed; it’s okay to feel one way one day and another the next.‍

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How Long Does It Take to Heal?

‍As for the question on everyone’s mind: How long does it take to get over a breakup?‍

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The answer is highly individual. Research suggests it can take anywhere from a few months to a year, depending on various factors:

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The Length of the Relationship: Longer relationships may take more time to get over because you've invested more emotionally, and there’s often more shared history.
The Way It Ended: If the breakup was mutual and amicable, recovery may be quicker compared to a situation where there was betrayal, infidelity, or a traumatic ending. In these cases, feelings of anger or distrust may linger, extending the healing period.
Emotional Attachment: If you were deeply in love or emotionally attached, the healing process might be slower. The stronger the emotional bond, the more difficult it is to detach.
Your Coping Mechanisms: Some people are naturally more resilient and can process emotions quickly, while others may struggle more with letting go. Your personal ability to manage grief plays a significant role in how quickly you heal.
Support System: Having a strong network of friends, family, or even a therapist can make a big difference in how fast you recover. Emotional support allows you to feel validated and heard, which accelerates the healing process.
Self-Reflection: Healing is often faster when you take time to understand the relationship, reflect on what you've learned, and focus on personal growth. Self-care and self-improvement during the recovery period can help you regain a sense of independence and strength.

Can You Speed Up the Process?‍

Although you can’t truly rush healing, there are several ways to make the process smoother:

Allow Yourself to Grieve: Don’t bottle up your emotions. Cry if you need to, and don’t feel ashamed of your sadness. Letting yourself feel is a necessary part of the healing journey.
Cut Contact with Your Ex: It’s hard to move on if you’re constantly in touch with your ex. Taking time and space away from them allows you to start healing independently.
Stay Active and Busy: Keep your mind and body engaged with activities you love. Exercise, try a new hobby, or take up something you’ve always wanted to do. Distraction can help ease emotional pain.
Surround Yourself with Positivity: Seek out supportive friends who encourage your growth and well-being. Negative influences can prolong the healing process.
Give Yourself Time: Don’t pressure yourself to “move on” quickly. Remember that healing is a process that cannot be rushed. Respect your own timeline.

Moving Forward‍

While it might feel impossible to imagine life without your ex in the early days after a breakup, time really does heal all wounds. With patience and self-care, the pain will lessen, and you will begin to rebuild a stronger, more resilient version of yourself. Remember, the end of a relationship can mark the beginning of an exciting new chapter.‍

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Taking Time To Heal

‍In the end, the time it takes to get over a breakup is different for everyone, and there's no right or wrong timeline. Allow yourself to feel what you need to feel, and remember that healing doesn’t happen overnight. Be gentle with yourself, seek support when necessary, and trust that with time, you will find your way through the heartbreak.

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Grouport Offers All Kinds of Therapy Options

Grouport Therapy provides online group therapy, individual therapy, couples therapy, family therapy, intensive outpatient program, teen therapy, and a DBT-Self Guided Program. All our sessions are therapist-led, held virtually, and meet over video chat at the same time each week. All our sessions are therapist-led and are held virtually and meet over video chat at the same time each week. For group therapy, we have groups on many topics including Dialectical Behavior Therapy "DBT", Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Anxiety & Depression, Trauma & PTSD, Anger Management, OCD, Borderline Personality Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, Relationship Issues, Divorce, Narcissistic Abuse, Self-Compassion, Grief & Loss, Parenting, Substance Abuse, Supporting A Loved one with BPD, among others. Each group is led by a licensed therapist that typically has over a decade of experience treating a wide range of specialties, and the group meets at the same time each week for an hour with the same members and therapist.
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As reported by our members, 70% experienced significant progress within 8 weeks, including reduced anxiety & depression symptoms.
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Our care coordinators can help assist you to craft the perfect treatment plan for you that's tailored to your needs. We provide speedy matches to quality care, and also provide the flexibility to switch your therapist or group at anytime ensuring that you're always meeting with the right therapist fit at a time that's convenient for your schedule. Whatever type of therapy you’re seeking, Grouport offers a range of options to suit your schedule and preferences. Explore our programs to find the support you need. If you need help finding the right type of therapy, schedule a free call with a care coordinator here.

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