Can You Go to Marriage Counseling Alone?

Marriage counseling is often thought of as a two-person endeavor, where both partners work together with a therapist to address their issues, improve communication, and strengthen their relationship. But what if one partner is unwilling or unable to attend? Can you still go to marriage counseling alone? The short answer is yes—you can go to marriage counseling on your own. In fact, individual counseling can be incredibly helpful in understanding your role in the relationship, working through personal challenges, and learning how to navigate marital issues even if your partner isn't actively involved.

‍

The Benefits of Going to Marriage Counseling Alone

Personal Clarity and Insight

Even if your partner isn't attending counseling, you can gain valuable insight into your own feelings, behaviors, and expectations in the relationship. A skilled counselor can help you explore your emotions, communication patterns, and personal triggers, which might contribute to the issues you're facing. By understanding your own reactions better, you can make more informed decisions about how to approach the relationship, whether that means improving communication, setting boundaries, or deciding whether to stay in the marriage.

Improved Communication Skills

Marriage counseling often focuses on improving communication between partners. If your spouse isn't willing to attend, you can still benefit from learning techniques to express your needs and concerns more effectively. A counselor can teach you how to navigate difficult conversations with respect and empathy, which will not only improve your interactions with your partner but also enhance your overall ability to communicate in other areas of your life.

Addressing Personal Issues

Sometimes, relationship struggles stem from personal issues that one or both partners are dealing with, such as stress, anxiety, depression, or unresolved trauma. Attending counseling alone gives you the space to work on these personal challenges, which could indirectly improve your marriage. When you address personal issues and develop better coping mechanisms, you might find that your interactions with your partner become more positive.

Empowerment and Decision-Making

A marriage counselor can help you clarify your goals for the relationship and give you the tools to make empowered decisions about your future. Whether that means learning how to better cope with challenges, considering whether separation is the right choice, or finding ways to approach your partner about counseling, you’ll have a clearer sense of direction. Sometimes, gaining clarity on your own is the first step toward getting both partners on the same page.

Creating a Better Marriage Dynamic

Even though your partner may not be involved, your own growth can have a profound impact on your relationship. By working on yourself, improving your self-esteem, and developing healthier habits, you create a more positive dynamic in the marriage. When one partner changes, it often leads to shifts in the other person’s behavior, and this can open the door to healthier interactions and conflict resolution in the future.

When to Consider Going Alone

While going to marriage counseling alone can be beneficial, it’s important to understand when it might be particularly helpful:

One Partner Is Reluctant to Attend: If your spouse is unwilling or unable to go to counseling, attending alone can still provide you with support and guidance. You may also be able to learn how to encourage your partner to join later.

You’re Facing Personal Struggles: If you're dealing with emotional or mental health challenges that are affecting the relationship, counseling can help you work through these issues individually, which can improve your marriage in the long run.

You're Uncertain About the Relationship: If you're unsure about the future of your marriage, counseling can help you clarify your feelings, explore options, and decide what steps to take next.

You Want to Improve Yourself: Even if you’re not facing an immediate crisis, counseling can help you improve your relationship skills and better understand your role in the relationship.

‍

How to Approach the Situation

If you decide to go to marriage counseling on your own, here are a few tips for making the most of the experience:

Be Open to Self-Reflection: Therapy is a time for self-discovery. Be willing to explore your own behaviors, feelings, and expectations, even if it’s uncomfortable.
Be Honest with Your Therapist: Share as much as you can about your relationship dynamic, including your partner's behaviors, your concerns, and your own feelings. The more honest you are, the more effective your therapy will be.
Set Goals for Your Counseling: Think about what you want to achieve in therapy. Are you seeking solutions to specific problems, or are you looking for personal growth and better communication skills?
Respect Your Partner’s Position: If your partner isn’t willing to attend counseling, respect their decision but also use the opportunity to learn how to approach them. You may be able to find ways to encourage them to join later or initiate meaningful conversations about the relationship.

What to Do If Your Partner Remains Unwilling to Participate

Sometimes, a partner may refuse to attend counseling or resist the idea of marriage therapy altogether. If that’s the case, you can still make progress on your own. Here’s how you can move forward:

Encourage Your Partner Gently: If your spouse is resistant, try to have a calm, respectful conversation about the potential benefits of therapy. Sometimes, a non-confrontational approach can help them feel more open to the idea.
Focus on Your Own Growth: While waiting for your partner to become more open to counseling, continue working on your own emotional health and relationship skills.
Consider Other Resources: If marriage counseling is unavailable, consider reading books, attending workshops, or finding online support groups that can help you improve your relationship on your own.

Taking Steps Toward Healing

Marriage counseling doesn’t always require both partners to attend at the same time. Going to counseling alone can be an important step in understanding yourself, improving your communication skills, and gaining clarity about your relationship. Whether your partner eventually joins in or not, individual counseling can help you navigate marital challenges, build a stronger sense of self, and create a better foundation for the future of your marriage.

‍

Grouport Offers All Kinds of Therapy Options

Grouport Therapy provides online group therapy, individual therapy, couples therapy, family therapy, intensive outpatient program, teen therapy, and a DBT-Self Guided Program. All our sessions are therapist-led, held virtually, and meet over video chat at the same time each week.All our sessions are therapist-led and are held virtually and meet over video chat at the same time each week. For group therapy, we have groups on many topics including Dialectical Behavior Therapy "DBT", Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Anxiety & Depression, Trauma & PTSD, Anger Management, OCD, Borderline Personality Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, Relationship Issues, Divorce, Narcissistic Abuse, Self-Compassion, Grief & Loss, Parenting, Substance Abuse, Supporting A Loved one with BPD, among others. Each group is led by a licensed therapist that typically has over a decade of experience treating a wide range of specialties, and the group meets at the same time each week for an hour with the same members and therapist.
‍

As reported by our members, 70% experienced significant progress within 8 weeks, including reduced anxiety & depression symptoms.
‍

Our care coordinators can help assist you to craft the perfect treatment plan for you that's tailored to your needs. We provide speedy matches to quality care, and also provide the flexibility to switch your therapist or group at anytime ensuring that you're always meeting with the right therapist fit at a time that's convenient for your schedule. Whatever type of therapy you’re seeking, Grouport offers a range of options to suit your schedule and preferences. Explore our programs to find the support you need. If you need help finding the right type of therapy, schedule a free call with a care coordinator here.

‍