Navigating the Push-Pull Dynamic: Dealing with Borderline Personality Disorder Pushing You Away

A distinctive characteristic of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is the pattern of unstable relationships, marked by a "push-pull" dynamic, where the person with BPD alternates between idealizing their partners and pushing them away. Understanding this behavior and learning how to react when someone with BPD pushes you away can be instrumental in maintaining the relationship and providing support.

The Push-Pull Dynamic in BPD: A Deeper Look

An intense fear of abandonment and fluctuating moods drives the push-pull dynamic in BPD. When people with BPD push others away, it doesn't necessarily indicate a lack of care or affection. Instead, it often signifies their struggle with intense emotions and fear of being left alone. It's an emotional defense mechanism triggered by their perceived threat of abandonment, even if it isn't real.

Strategies for When Someone with BPD Pushes You Away

Establishing Boundaries

Establishing boundaries is essential when dealing with someone with BPD who tends to push others away. Clear boundaries provide a framework for interactions, which can help prevent you from being overly affected by the other person's emotional turmoil. Communicating these boundaries respectfully and assertively is important, ensuring that your emotional health is protected.

Reacting with Compassion and Patience

Reacting to the push-away behavior with compassion and patience can be beneficial. Acknowledge their feelings, and express your understanding without endorsing any harmful behavior. Understand that their actions stem from intense internal emotions and do not reflect your worth or actions.

Maintaining a Healthy Relationship with Someone with BPD

Building Trust Over Time

Building trust is a gradual process, but it's key to maintaining a relationship with someone with BPD. Consistent behavior, keeping promises, and offering reassurance can help establish a sense of security and predictability, which is often lacking in people with BPD.

Encouraging Professional Help

Encouraging the person with BPD to seek professional help is important if they haven't already. Therapies such as Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) can equip them with tools to manage their emotional intensity, fear of abandonment, and relationship instability.

When someone with BPD pushes you away, you must react with understanding, patience, and self-care. Although it can be difficult, remembering that their behavior is a response to their internal struggle and not a reflection of you can help maintain the relationship. By setting boundaries, building trust, and encouraging professional help, you can navigate the complexities of a relationship with someone with BPD.

Grouport Offers BPD Group Support Online & DBT Skills Groups Online

Grouport Therapy offers online Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) group sessions to support individuals coping with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). This therapy approach utilizes mindfulness and acceptance to enhance self-awareness and emotional regulation, helping to reduce destructive behaviors and strengthen interpersonal connections. Our virtual group sessions instruct members on incorporating various psychotherapy techniques, such as DBT, into their everyday lives, enabling them to engage with others and express themselves more effectively.

Our qualified therapists conduct weekly group meetings remotely, allowing members to participate from the comfort of their own homes. As reported by participants, 70% witnessed significant progress within 8 weeks.

You don't need to confront these obstacles by yourself. Enroll in one of our groups today to embark on a path toward substantial, enduring transformation and renewed optimism. Become part of our community and collaborate towards a more promising future.

You can learn more about the structure of our DBT Skills groups here. We also have groups for a variety of other topics including anger management, anxiety, depression, grief and loss, obsessive compulsive disorder, relationship issues, and trauma and PTSD, among many others. You can explore a wide range of group topics and options here. Join our community and work together towards a brighter future. Sign up for one of our groups today and begin your journey towards meaningful, lasting change and renewed hope.

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